The Portrayal.

Sam: Uncle Joe said to go dark for an hour during the 28th!
Sam: Great, but never count me in.
Sam: But why?!
Sam: I don't see that by turning off lights for one hour does any significant help on the environmental crisis.
Sam: But but, I heard many many cities are in!
Sam: Yea of course I know, they're aiming to hit one k.
Sam: But but... I heard its a global movement trying to save the world!
Sam: Consider it a cheap and efficient global movement for organizations to yield profits, you see, if you happen to know economics, human live and die for incentives. Its also a cheap way for corporates to gain social approval.
Sam: But but, what's wrong going dark for an hour?!

the exclamation marks serve mainly to magnify the naivete substance, fullstops for the exact opposite. there are two Sams here, both lived inseparable yet they have not been in peace for exactly twenty one years, they fought for countless times to gain approval from their master over certain decision making, the latter, portrays the perfect antagonist in any given circumstances and he stand out to win most of the time because of his potful of wits enabling him to see through the master's heart like a laser detector, but the price to pay was when he think too much he'll turn into a restless fiend, trapped in it cold and long night, haunted so much by the current that there's none that excites beside seeing the twilight again. on the contrary, the one on the other extreme knows only black or white, missing the grey as interval in between, ignorant but blissful, he doesn't think much, and gets happy on the smallest thing possible.

so what's the conclusion? He won for the first time after a long losing streak. the master chose to be ignorant for this time and that one hour I would say its an hour well spent in prayers in hoping for a better world, let aside the corporate profits from the event. those who find beautiful meanings in beautiful things are the cultivated, for these there's hope, how great a phrase Mr Oscar Wilde.

"lbnn6 fhfffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffhhhhh" my kitten did this.

Free Loop.

often times I feel like a vaudevillian in my own dreams, in them commanding a certain level of idiosyncrasy in the most improvisational form possible, its like starring in very much a high rated film without needing a script, that it catches you in circumstances beyond your most sublime creativity ever, and you don't bear the pain of traveling between filming locations, you swiftly blinks through them. but the downside is that the moment being transported back to the current you loses most, if not thoroughly the memories in paradise, and i wonder if heaven is as beautiful like that. I opened my eyes, and the first thing i did to save the important screenplays as close as what I could get in description of words to the typepad in mobile phone, "looked down from the cliff I saw a river of multiple splitoffs, all flowing in opposite direction with their respective conjunctions, water bright blue. I rode a bike in pursuit of a criminal, all vehicles levitate on water." wtf, I'm feeling estranged to these words, I can't even recall the fantasy a few days after.

I used to have a lot of difficulties standing infront of a theatre's ticket booth or in the bookshop, considering them the worst place ever for me to make up my mind for a decision, and strikes me even harder to be in these two places when I'm in a hurry, but just recently I think I've found the match to those two cravings, chick flicks, ha ha, and classics for the latter. last watched Confessions Of A Shopaholic, added to the shelf The Return Of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle, The Picture Of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde and The Count Of Monte Cristo by Alexandre Dumas, as of this writing, I'm on the last chapter of Sherlock Holmes detective story, brilliant.

sometimes I just don't understand how could people react with such cynical expression towards things set deliberately for a good cause. the point is not to calculate that how much of electricity we can save in that particular hour, but merely to create awareness regarding to environmental issues, and secondly to remind us of mankind's divine relation with the earth. All in all, it deserves advocacy.

I happened to recover some of my lost files in a very old hardisk, most of which are pictures, mixed with some of which I consider photography works most to my liking.

There's something more than just the radiance in this picture.

Picture 468
A picture of my hair cosmetics lastime, not to say I'm proud of it, lol.

Picture 290
Morning after a wasted night at the children's playground.

Picture 087
I purposely woke up at 4 o'clock, climbed up the hill just so to get this on time.

Last day in high school.

Where are you now already?

Cactus last the longest in this picture.

Starfucks anyone?

I hope you're with a much better hand now.

Eternal flame.

It was long, trust me it's even longer now.

Picture 278

Picture 250
It's just like life, just that on a much faster pace.
Ho can you relate cue, cards and beers? rock n' roll.
I consider this my best photography work to date.

Lol. who stole my cheese?

On Capitalism.

"The problem is that the dynamic that defines capitalism, that of unforgiving market competition, clashes with the human desire for stability and certainty."

-Alan Greenspan-

regarding the internet, i grew up being a devotee to a lot of Yahoo technologies, be it the mail hosting, the news, flickr, and a lot of monotonous nights you see me either in pool, or chess, yes they're hosted by yahoo. the perfect example of young entrepreneurs started from scratch, from zero to hero, in the shortest amount of time possible, that's the power of capitalism, but the downside is that even when you're at the top, there's no such thing for you to be called "up, stable and running." everyday your competitors are out to squash you and put you out of business, whether you're the boss of a burger stall, or you're Jerry Yang or Larry Page, yes, that's the downside of being in the world of capitalism, you're wary of your mortality. the recent years took over of the title of being crowned as the king of internet business, from yahoo to google, shows just that. thats what the world teaches you.

but i'm talking about a lesson regarding to capitalism in a typical economic class. unsurprisingly all would nail on the depredations of increased global trades, the exploitations of labor, the income inequality, instability of growth and businesses being doomed unethical. unless you're in america, or this particular economic mode would be less embraced.

someone shoot me an essay question few weeks ago pinpointing at the effects multinational cooperation have towards the local sector. its about the the economies of scales they're having, so to say, trashes the local sector's ability to compete. but here the problem is that, capitalism, despites the flourish of rewards, creates anxiety deep in us. if i happen to run a hamburger stall one day, i would hope that the next wannabe hamburger entrepreneur does it at least fifty miles away from me. but on the other hand, because i am the king of hamburger business in town, i have total monopolistic power over the consumers, too bad for hamburger fiends, i can charge highly a price i wan, its either you buy it or you leave it.

but what happen next is that in the world of capitalism, its not hard for competitors to enter and compete, if they're having a larger sum of capital, they open their stalls right beside mine, they're richer to afford two, or even three, frying pans so they could produce faster, compared to mine, of just one. and the larger sums enable them to price slash the burger from three bucks to just one. so what can i do next is i need to improve, on the quality of service, and chart out a better hamburger business plan. so to say i'm not very happy of all these incidents, but at the end, the hamburger owners and the consumers got better off. this is the dynamic that pushes capitalism. its an ambivalence love-hate relationship of being an all out businessman and a coward who subliminally prefers less competitions.

"what is the market? it is the law of the jungle, the law of nature, and what is civilization? it is the struggle against nature." says the french. the best example of a culture not buying the idea of capitalism, for civilization is still their main agenda. but the argument here is that, human nature clashes with civilization. it is a false imprint reality on the mind that they have forgotten the main objective of life is about survival, if one day we're gonna have a clash of civilization, you'll see that the most civilized peoples plot out murders just to bring bread to their families, they will kill and eat up human flesh when there's no food. it is the nature, and it is the platform that capitalism operates on.

The Fourth Year.

This blog was started back when I was seventeen, a time when I think that I should start a blog, because most of the peoples that i looked up to that time have one, also a time when having a blog feels like the coolest thing on earth for staying at the forefront of the internet revolution, all these before i realize how many of my age actually started writing earlier than me.

Most of whom I considered the local heroes left Ipoh by that time I started writing, the further ones went to Aussie, the even further ones Europe, the nearer ones KL, and to me a blog that time means tool for peoples to stay in touch. I remember I often quietly sneaked into them just to embrace myself with dreams hoping to leave this particular small town as soon as possible, I envied those who experienced the snow, the autumn leaves, avenues as long as you can imagine, flanked with huge trees of golden colours; densely populated commercial districts, high streets, rapid transits, skyscrapers engineered to the highest construction standard, and the skylines, yea the skylines. I was that kid, who thought that nobody would even bother to read my blog, I felt as if I don't have a niche to blog about, I was only a school kid in uniform after all.

As of this point, I flipped back through my earlier entries, read and compared them to the recent ones as if there were the writings of two utterly different persons, throughout this four years of writings Im still trying to improve on my muse, but I usually dont bother about the typo errors, and will leave them after a one time spell checking, I don't guarantee I write the best articles, I don't feel that my niche of writings attracts audience also, because no one bothers reading all these gibberishes, but I write with a heart, doesnt matter the audience, its like hearing yourself from an answering machine and realize you actually sounded like that.

It's the fourth year and going, on and off and I'm still writing, no longer in the small town of Ipoh, being hectic and its like suddenly I don't realize that I'm away from home for so long. And recently I stumbled upon an Ipoh blog, everything about the blog goes around the happenings of the small town, the feeling is like walking back into the secondary school during a sunday, seeing every thing in a monochrome coloured feel, and suddenly wondered how much I've missed the quieter, soul soothing side of life already, and when I thought of how much I once embraced the city skyline and the transits, I find that I'm sleeping through most of the train rides already.

Absurd Reality.

There online I talked to a friend, hoping to find out about the accident which took place in Kampar.

"I dunno anything, don't ask me."

"I thought you're supposed to know since you're studying in Kampar and you're friends with them also."

"yes indeed, it was my car, and I was the one driving."

Blue Friday.

And there gone the diarrhea that has kept me running up and down the washroom like mad for the past few days, more than 20 times, yea it's true.

and I quoted this from The Gutterpost:

"You can beat your wife but you cannot beat The Gutterpost."

So should I start blogging as anonymous?

Goodbye Mr Sweet Tooth.

It reached a stage of severe addiction to sweet stuff until i can finish a pack of ten candies under 15 minutes, but recently i just feel so grossed with anything sweet, all thanks to the f*cking mamak downstairs and i dont even dare to order any flavoured drinks from them anymore, not even milo, they're just trying to kill me with sugars, plain water will do from now on, thank you.

There are times in life when I just don't feel synchronized with me myself, why would I suddenly lost the crave for candies, or why would I, for the past few days, don't even bother pickin up the guitar, I feel pressured, f*ck you all, playing guitar is a passion, it's not my f*cking job, do you know that when you think that I was so screwed when I cannot even sustain a note during the soundcheck, it's because you morons f*cked me up, and when the show is done and it's considered not bad, it's because I was wasted before getting up to that stage, I don't feel nice playing with you all, and this week's considered a good time for me, no sessions, something like when your final's over.

And somebody told me today that one of my secondary school friends had passed away, together with the girl friend, in an accident. I was stunned, really stunned, at a moment, had that guy to reconfirm the name a few times.

Leave your footprints here with us, that impact all things the past, present, and the future, so if we live on for another day we shall all remember your name, and you're free at last, rest in peace bro.

Crazy Train part II (after so long)

No I was not carried too far away, instead, it crashed.

To understand the above statement you need to know me well enough, if not. don't ask. I guess the aftermath still hit hard as hell to affected parties. To the one who stirred this, I kept my silence, but doesnt mean that I don't know who you are, and I'm saying this with my head held high, beware.

About the gig last week, at somewhere Old Klang Road, not a very bad one, but neither a very good one, there's room for improvement, and two more days there's another show in Hartamas. Six songs in the list, three down three more to go and I havent even figure out the riff.

About economics, where find consumers when everybodys income is shrinking? How business survive and pay employess better when theres no consumers? to our Garblement, please play your role, stop fighting lah cheee bais.

Who inspired me to write again? quaintlyDotNet.