Long sights into the night.

Out at the balcony, there's cool breeze, shades of mountains in front of me only to be seen the silhouette, I saw street lights shining luminously in a dark yellowish radiant, at times some cars passing by, but minus off day time traffic noise pollution. the night is so different from day time being, I see visions, in some how between blurry and clarion, far away, it awaits me. Where is my dream?


I sometimes find I'm drifting
Through this life without effect;
I often wonder if I'm truly
Worth what I've been blessed.

I search through days that have been hard,
To try to understand,
The many trials that I have known,
The life that I have had.

You see me in my daily grin,
So confident and strong;
Yet when I am alone,
I question
Just where I belong.

I often try too hard I find,
To analyze and guess,
To scrutinize, investigate
My life I will confess.

For somewhere deeper, there must be
Some meaning to this life,
Some way to make a difference,
Give a reason for this strife.

Is there some hidden meaning?
Some agenda to be found?
A greater purpose waiting
If I care to hang around?

It teases and it taunts me,
Always slightly out of sight;
A hazy vision out of reach,
Where darkness hides the light.

I struggle to bring clarity
To what awaits me there,
And yet this weak illusion
Always fades before my stare.

It seems the harder that I try,
To focus through the haze,
Just serves to add more questions,
Through my endless, tired gaze.

Perhaps I'm trying just too hard,
To understand it all,
For can we ever truly know
Just what we have in store?

Each incident, each moment passed,
Just adds upon the next,
But in the end, will I find truth ...
Or will I be perplexed?

Perhaps I make it harder
Than it has to be sometimes,
But will my searching bring to me
My meaning over time?

Or will it leave me broken,
And confused as I feel now,
While questions bring no solitude,
To this, my wrinkled brow.
Woke up early to rush back KL for 1pm shift. Currently into Dire Straits - Sultans Of Swing. Thank you Cwsam for introducing nice musics to me, I'll be waiting to get the photocopy of the lesson book from you during my next come back next come back, prolly a week or so later. =)

To you my friend.

You know, God never leave you, He was and He is, always there for you, if you ever thought that God had forsaken you, no. The greatest gift and help He has come to offer humans, He gave you choices, so even when you're reaching hell's gate you are still offered the choice for a turn back. Life may be hard, but it isn't hard enough for us to say this life had forced us to turn the other way, come back, the hands of your creator will pamper you and carry you through life..


I have been thinking to differentiate human from animals, suppose we are just one kinda species with somehow the brain to be larger in size,and complex, that allowed us to accomplish civilization. for laughter's sake, ducks, one day evolved and has the same brain as you, and they are leaping forward to take over the world and achieve civilization?

Let Be. Some how, it was "choice" that had turned up modernity, civilization must have originated from choices we made. Since Men was created, there was this tree of life, I would say it is a gift, without the tree of life we are all shackled, without choices we are all binded, set by principles, nothing life. without decisions we cannot differ from animals. Or else ducks might one day be smarter than humans if they evolved into a more complex species. Now you know, they cannot. =) In what ever situation, what ever cause, there are always choices come to offer, you choose, life is not fixed, nor it will be. Superhero Spider Man said this in his movie, not me, I'm too little to make influence. =)

We live because tomorrow is always the most important thing in life. It comes into us midnight and it's always clean. It's perfect when it arrives and puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learned something from yesterday...

Post dedicated for you =)

A rainy night, set exactly one year back, the night I held your hand, for the first time, I would never forget, the night which I received my greatest gift of all. For some time I spent thinking why two people from two totally different background can come together so well, a girl who wouldn't mind walking with me or taking LRTs because I don't own a car, and one who tells me to eat elsewhere because that particular place is too expensive, cook me my dinners, tasted good or not, I eat from the heart =)

I'm really thankful, for in the midst of darkness you never leave,

I'm delighted beyond description, I'm no longer blind and you're the light in darkness path, sounding triumph telling me that I'm gonna win,

I'm complete because God gave me light, God gave me you =)

I Love you, happy anniversary baby =)

Home, dwelling place, indulge...

Currently into Stephen Ambros - Band Of Brothers.

And as I spent time clearing up the messy computer desk, out of a sudden I turned my eyes, focusing on these empty cigar boxes, rearranged them. smoking is a thing of the past, since long ago, yet i never dump these old little antiques, they are serving good as decoratives on the desktop and as a little memorial of the naive yet bittersweet memories of the past.

Last night I went back to church for some futsal games. It's really nice to see passionate peoples still gather around for sports, a trend which lasted for years, since don't know when. I did not play well, and realised I couldn't, either =)